Come By Way of Sorrow

_{Plot stuff, feel free to ignore if you don't care...}

Claris took a step into the parlor, where a fire was already glowing. Saffron was not unperceptive; with a nod, she left the two vampires together- her mistress, cold and guarded, and the stranger, who inspected each darkened corner with a look of white-hot suspicion.

Leland was pacing, his footfalls silent where they hit plush carpet and louder on the naked marble floor. Claris settled onto a padded settee. "You may sit, if you wish."

There was nothing welcoming in her mannerisms. Everything about the situation was wracking her nerves. It helped matters none that he was here in the first place, and even less that he was so restless. She almost couldn't bear to look at him, the face she had known so well creased and furrowed with anxiety and haunted with sorrow. His eyes were just as unsettled as the rest of him, never staying too long in any place. "No. No, thank you. I would not presume. It's enough to simply be..." he paused, as if he was considering carefully. "Inside." He opened his mouth and sighed, rare in someone who never needed to breathe. She watched him carefully, and though she sat perfectly still, her mind was spread in a thousand directions at once, and even though she knew it didn't show on her face, the emotion was strong enough that she nevertheless hoped it would not anyway. The fire was crackling, and there was a clock ticking somewhere in the house, but she could scarcely remember where.

"Mithras's agents," he said, gritting his teeth and steadying his hands on the hilt of his sword as if it was about to start shaking involuntarily, "have failed to track and subdue us successfully, up until now. He has enlisted someone- a professional hunter of Kindred, calling himself La Sombra de los Muertos. Older than I am, even, and canny enough to have survived the height of the inquisitions in Spain. He keeps any number of highly trained mortal disciples that he sends after his marks, so he can't be tracked himself. They can all take control over shadow and darkness, and use them as weapons."

"And so they've attacked you. And now me." She kept her voice even. "How long has this been going on?"

"Over a year." His back was to her, and as he said this, his shoulders fell a little, as if a heavy weight was settling on them. "I was almost killed, Claris. Once in England, and once again in France. They found me while I was... unprepared." He shifted his weight uneasily. "And because I was so ill prepared, they were able to follow me here and track me as I moved, although they certainly would have come for you even if I had stayed away. Which... which is why I've come here now." His arms were crossed tight against his body as he looked over his shoulder at her. "I simply haven't had the kind of capability that I once did. All these years I've held no thoughts to my own safety. I... I worry for you." He clenched his jaw before going on, and shifted again, more defensively. "I'm robbed of my focus, and it leaves me vulnerable, all because I can't stop worrying for your safety."

She thought of him, being pursued each night from the moment he woke, until daybreak when he went to ground, with no respite- shadows, after all, were unavoidable to a creature of night. It was little wonder he seemed so agitated, and with each passing moment she longed to forgive him, to stand and go to him and hold him until morning, but something else inside her- dignity, perhaps, or was it something darker- pride? stubbornness? interfered, and she could not. "As you can see, there is no need. I am unharmed." Had she truly just been so cold to him? The kindness she had once felt was still there, but it was buried under something else, something bitter and ugly like an injured animal.

"Claris-" a little too loud, his voice broke, and he cut himself off and began again. "There is no way to avoid this. I'm... relieved beyond measure that you've come to no peril, but how long will that last? They are persistent, and they will not stop if you chase one off, or two, or even more. When I finished with them, it was a wonder I had made it... but the thing that kept me whole was the thought of the same thing befalling you. I do not wish to die." This last sentence was firm and resolute. "But not because I fear a final death. I fear you being left without a protector. And that's why I couldn't stay away. If they had come after you, and I wasn't there to stop it, I would never forgive myself, and I've already done so much that's yet to be forgiven." He put a hand to his forehead, and seemed to be composing himself. With his other hand, he steadied himself against the wall. She had seen before, but in the firelight, the tears and threadbare spots on his coat stood out starkly. "I mean to quit Europe entirely."

Her mouth fell open, and she stood up. "You... you can't mean that."

Leland turned and faced her, taking a step in her direction. "I do. It is the only way to be rid of them, and even then, it may only bide me some time before they come again." He seemed as if he were on the verge of tears, but trying to hold them back grimly. "If you and I were to leave together, Claris, wherever we went I would protect you, and I would always be ready for any threat knowing you were..." -again, that pause- "...in no danger without someone to guard you." When she didn't speak, his face settled into a blank, listless expression. "And... and so I ask, even though I scarcely dare to hope: will you come with me when I leave?"

This was too much. She shook her head in disbelief. "No. No, Leland. Leave my home? Why would I do such a thing, just so you can feel like a man again? You talk of concern for my safety, but being here assures me a far greater degree of that. I have contacts here, and they can safeguard me if it becomes necessary."

"Claris..." He shut his eyes tightly, and she could see him blinking away tiny teardrops of blood. "Please. These assassins... they make me more afraid than any foe I've ever faced. Every night I wake and I feel like a raw nerve when I think of you. I... I can see that you can handle yourself." His jaw was trembling. "And I trust that you have no shortage of powerful contacts and friends here, who can do many things for you that I can't. But the fear of you one night coming to harm, and my being unable to help... if such a thing were to happen, then surely I would die, even more than I am already dead. I... I just can't..." He cradled his head in his hands and made a small, anguished, wordless sound. "Please."

"Leland..." She could practically feel her heart breaking inside her. Once, he had been everything to her, and seeing him brought so low, so desperate, was stirring those feelings again. She wanted to pick him up, to comfort him, to give him whatever he needed, if only he had enough humility to ask. "You owe me nothing. I desire no protector. Tell me what it is you want from me."

"I want everything and nothing from you at the same time." He shook his head as if he was trying to shake free the thoughts that plagued him. "A life without you in it would be far worse than dying. All these years, I've known that, and still I carried on without you in the hopes that I could see to your welfare from afar. But truly, I cannot live much longer without you with me, and if something should happen to you, I would die rather than wake to another night knowing I could never see you again or hope that you would deign speak to me." To her stunned surprise, Leland gripped her hand and fell to his knees at her feet. His touch shocked her to her very core. For so many years, he had been so careful when he touched her, but now he held fast to her small hand as if it was the very breath of life. "All I want or need from you is to be with you. I have been without you for so many years, when truly, just one night without you beside me was too long. I will be whatever you desire, and if you wish nothing from me, then I will do that. In exchange, I only want you to let me stay beside you, even if you find you cannot love me again." He bent his head and rubbed his eyes with his free hand, and his stooped head and shoulders put a gentle pressure against her skirts. She found her own free hand naturally finding a place to rest on his bowed head, stroking his unkempt, tangled hair, and her mind absently wandered to the many times she had fallen asleep with her hand just this way, so many years past. His body shook with what could have been a silent sob. "Claris," he said in an increasingly broken voice, "please just say you'll come with me. All that you would give me is everything that I want. All I need is you, and nothing else."

She sank to her knees, only letting go of his hand to put her arms around him fully, and the borders between them dissolved. His body was trembling beneath her touch, and his shoulders shook as he wept and held her tight. If she had still needed to breathe, the length and constraint of his embrace would have suffocated her, yet it felt more real, more vital, than anything she had felt since he left. She could feel him relaxing against her body, and was amazed that even after so much time, being held by her sire was as natural a state to her as growing old and dying was to a mortal. She closed her eyes and, for the first time in hundreds of years, slipped into his thoughts as easily as one would slip on a glove. Through his mind's eye, she could see herself as he saw her, a thousand radiant images of her rare smile, her plaintive gaze, her hands that crafted lines and letters with deft skill. In his memories, they kissed a thousand times and embraced a thousand more, and with each she could feel his affection and admiration and agony. He was amazed and sorrowful and relieved and afraid almost to the point of madness, all at once. More than anything else, she wanted to be there for him, to help him, to be everything that he required... and she let go, holding his hand close to her, their pallid skin illuminated by the firelight.

"If that is what you need," she said, stroking his hair, "then that is what I will do."

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PFUH!!! That's a text wall! Kudos if you actually felt like reading that whole monster thing. Long story short, Claris and Leland are back together homg. For just a little context, Mithras, the vampire prince of England, called a hunt against these two for their (unwilling, mostly accidental) part in starting the Great Fire of London in 1666. Claris has been safe in France since, but apparently Leland was beset upon by all sorts of would-be bounty-hunter vampires and dispatched them all... until this guy in 1720ish. O_o So he hightailed it over to France, found Claris (wholly against her will), and pretty much put it all on the line. With good results!!

So now, after this, these guys skedaddled off to the Colonies, where they've been living very idyllically and romantically, with no interference or interruption from nasty assassins. At least so far.

_{Textures from CGTextures. Flavor text up there is all by me. Title is taken from the lyrics to "By Way of Sorrow" by Dar Williams [link] which I love and is 100% a LelandXClaris song.}